


Awakened

by odetojoie



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alpha!Zoldycks, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Enthusiastic Consent, Except for a certain someone, Gender Identity Crisis, Identity Issues, Illumi is even creepier as an Alpha, Implied Mpreg, Killua wants Gon to have his babies, M/M, Omega Verse, Omegaverse, Practically every Hunter is an Alpha, but that might not happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetojoie/pseuds/odetojoie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Omegaverse. Killua knows there are certain expectations that come with being born into the family of the most renowned assassins in the world. Presenting as Alpha is one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1: Denial

Part 1: Denial

"Repress the natural and it comes back even stronger."  
― Philippe Lejeune

Despite the high altitude of the mountain range, the harbingers of Spring had arrived early on Kukuroo Mountain this year. The air was already heavily scented with floral promise, and the melody of a forest awakening from a wintry slumber was punctuated by the soft coos of songbirds to their nestlings. The sun peeked bashfully over the tip of the neighboring mountain before slowly spilling his light into every crevice of the valley, banishing the shadows cast by night.

The glorious dawn did nothing to thaw the vice of glacial despair currently squeezing Killua Zoldyck's heart. The young assassin was perched silently atop the roof of the Zoldyck estate, empty candy wrappers strewn about carelessly. He reached for another sweet in his back pocket; finding none, he began mindlessly twirling a yo-yo in a futile effort to avoid thinking about his current quandary.

From birth, Killua had known he would present as Alpha; every Zoldyck did, after all. The Zoldycks were a self-selecting bloodline who considered themselves among the apex predators of humankind. Even the prospect of mating for a Zoldyck was an exhaustively selective affair. Though the practice was more common for Alpha-Omega pairs, only the finest alpha "breeding stock" culled from the affluent underground families of the world were considered as worthy mates for the Zoldyck heir. Parents haggled viciously for months over dowry-price, small nations were purchased and traded, contracts signed, and the marriage bond was made. From such an illustrious line of thoroughbreds, being born Alpha was simply a birthright.

Killua had been late in presenting his second gender, however; years of rigorous preparation for the life of an assassin was the most likely culprit. His mother and brothers had often been overzealous in their efforts to groom him as the future head of the Zoldyck family. The prolonged exposure to electricity, Killua figured, had somehow prevented his pituitary gland from producing the sexual hormones to induce his first rut. It hadn't helped that his body's Nen receptors had been forced open before they were ready, either. His later choice to convert his Nen into electrical energy had further dulled his body's efforts to reach sexual maturity. Killua could have cared less. His family already insisted on controlling his life; the last thing he needed was to present and suddenly have to begin a long and arduous courtship of money-hungry Alpha females looking to be the next mother to the Zoldyck heir.

He'd only ever had eyes for one person, anyways, though he would have gladly suffered months of torture before admitting it to any member of his family.

Gon Freecs.

From the moment he looked up from his skateboard to meet those wide, bright amber eyes, Killua knew. As he deftly flipped up his skateboard to continue the remainder of the Hunter exam on foot, he knew. Of course he would finish the first task by running alongside Gon. He would have gladly run to the ends of the earth with this one.

.............................................................................

Gon had been late in reaching sexual maturity as well, though Killua often fantasized that his friend would present as omega. He'd kept that fact to himself, though, until they visited Gon's Aunt Mito-san on Whale Island. Killua had avidly watched his friend's facial reactions as they listened to the audio recording left by Gon's father. That night, as they tried to fall asleep in Gon's bed (Killua had offered to take the floor, but Gon wouldn't hear of it), Killua hesitantly broached the subject. "Gon? You awake?"

"Yeah, I can't sleep," came the sigh.

"Me either," Killua whispered. He had been entertaining the fantasy of asking to kiss Gon for the past half hour, and had been silently arguing with a disapproving inner voice that sounded suspiciously like his older brother Illumi.

Gon sat up suddenly, fists clenching at the sheets. "Killua, I-," he faltered to express himself. Startled into alertness, Killua turned to look at his friend and was shocked to see tears wetting the boy's cheeks.

"Gon?" Killua ventured. Gon remained silent for another moment, and Killua watched the progression of a fat tear down his cheek. He wanted nothing more than to brush that tear away, but he restrained himself. Killua's eyes snapped back up to Gon's gaze as his friend spoke.

"I h-hate her." Gon's back was rigid.

Killua was nonplussed. "Hate who, Gon?"

"My stupid Alpha mother," gritted out Gon.

Killua blinked, surprised. _Was Gon also a thoroughbred?_ "Was your mother your carrier?"

"No," breathed Gon quietly.

"But Gon, does that mean your father is an-?"

"-Omega, yes Killua," Gon finished. Killua, stunned, processed this new information. It was highly rare for any Omega to leave the household until they were chosen and pair-bonded to an Alpha. Times were changing, certainly; some had jobs, it was true, but an Omega as a Nen user? As one of the most powerful Hunters in the known world? Even more shocking, an Omega who had abandoned his child to the care of a family member to pursue his own aspirations? Killua was by no means an advocate of the old school way of thinking, but that revelation just about shattered every known gender stereotype he'd heard about Omegas. Killua wanted to ask more about Ging, but something told him the gender-biased questions might come off as offensive.

"But Gon, why do you hate her? You don't even know her."

"She left Ging all alone when she found out he was carrying me."

"But how do you know that? I thought you were too young to remember her."

"I don't remember her… but I found a letter once in the back of a drawer to my Aunt Mito-san one day when I was looking for new line for my fishing rod in the back of her closet. I knew I probably wasn't supposed to read it, but I thought it could be from Ging and it was."

"What did it say?" asked Killua, genuinely intrigued.

"That my mom was an Alpha... a treasure Hunter. After Ging got pregnant with me, she told him she didn't have time for a family. So… she just disappeared one day. Ging knew she had gone somewhere dangerous, and that he couldn't bring me while searching for my mom. So he left me with my aunt in the hopes that he could find her; in the hopes that I wouldn't have to be raised without my mother."

"Wow, that's-"

"-that's what?" cut in Gon bitterly. "Not typical behavior for an Omega?" Killua, taken aback by the sudden ferocity in his friend's voice, stammered.

"W-well, no, but I was-"

"-maybe he's not typical, ok?" interrupted Gon. "That doesn't make him a bad father. He is the best father."

Gon fell silent, eyes welling again. Killua spoke up quietly. "That wasn't what I was going to say, Gon." He could sense his friend's shoulders tense in expectation for the criticism. Gon must have grown hearing judgements cast against his father, shamed as the Omega carrier who abandoned his young son.

Killua met the hurt in his friend's eyes. "I was going to say that's really admirable of Ging. In fact," he paused for a moment as Gon's eyes turned to him in wonderment at the unexpected praise, "in fact, I think that makes him the most impressive Omega I've ever heard of; in the world, in fact. Maybe even in history. Look at everything he's accomplished!"

Gon flushed with pleasure at the sudden praise. "I hope I can be even half the Omega he is one day," he said firmly.

Killua's mouth suddenly went dry at the thought of Gon as an Omega- _his_ Omega. Then he found himself speaking before he could think. "Gon, if you…" he paused, ears flushing pink at the admission, "If you present as omega, I would... I would take care of you. I would never leave you alone with… with a baby to care for," he finished, closing his eyes in mortification. Baka!(Idiot!) What will he think?! He suddenly wished himself in a tiny, dank corner of Illumi's dungeons for admitting something so sappy. "Gomen (Sorry), Gon..." he whispered after a long moment passed.

Killua's eyes flew open in shock as he felt warm lips shyly touch his in a chaste kiss. "I would like that, Killua-chan," came the unexpected whisper.

.............................................................................

While once that memory had been a source of innocent pleasure for Killua, remembrance now brought physical discomfort, as if his lungs were somehow too full of air and yet were unable to satisfy his need for oxygen.

He hadn't expected things to go so horribly wrong.


	2. A Shock to the System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua reminisces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Slightly altered the events of how Killua found Gon after the battle with Pitou... then again, HunterXHunter wasn't Omegaverse, either, so I'm sure you won't mind...//
> 
> Sorry, it's not terribly long, and I can't promise quick updates, but I'm getting back into the flow of writing. Critique encouraged! I may end up keeping this story but changing my writing style to make it more of a challenge.

_“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.”_  
_― Heath L. Buckmaster_

\--------------------------  
_Several Weeks Before_  
\--------------------------

Though he knew Gon was set on facing Pitou alone and had agreed to stay behind, Killua could not suppress the panic welling up inside of him, a roaring and crackling electric tension that made his hair stand on end. He stood, pondering and fidgeting--a nervous habit Illumi had forced him to repress in a previous life, but he was long past caring about stilling his presence.  
Someone was addressing him, but he could barely hear; his eardrums were buzzing with the undercurrent of anxiety-generated electricity. Through the static he made out Gon's name. Forcing himself to focus, Killua realized one of Shaiapouf's pixie-sized clones had appeared to gleefully announce Gon's impending demise at the hands of Neferpitou.

 

Killua became lightning incarnate, moving instinctively in the direction of the forest. Blinding light erupted from the thick core of the black trees. Heart racing, Killlua tripled his electricity-enhanced momentum, fallen twigs and other woodland detritus sparking as they were kicked up in the powerful wake of his movements.

While yet several tree lengths from the clearing, a powerful smell accosted Killua's nostrils. He stopped short so suddenly he nearly fell. He clasped his hands to his knees as he heaved, but felt a sudden sharp pain; he glanced down, realizing his fingernails had instinctively lengthened into his assassin's claws.

As he fought his ingrained instincts to flee from the unknown scent, Killua was reminded of one muggy summer when Father, Grandfather, and Illumi had all gotten food poisoning at some state official's banquet and thrown up their hormone suppressants and scent inhibitors (though proud of their Alpha status, the Zoldyck elders knew that the nature of assassin work often required one to be scentless so as to avoid detection). The thick, windless days combined with the pungent odor of the three thoroughbred Alphas to produce a thick miasma of hormones that caused even Mike to whine in discomfort. 

For those few uncomfortable days, the Beta servants plugged their noses to stay unaffected while performing their daily duties. Even the stoic Goteau, too proud to show weakness to his employers, couldn't hide a slight wrinkle in his nose at the overbearing stench of Alpha as he walked the corridors of the Zoldyck estate. 

Only his mother Kikyo had seemed to enjoy the smell, fanning herself in ecstasy with a handkerchief dipped in the sweat of all three Alphas as she reclined on a pillowy divan. In retrospect, Killua could never say whether his sado-masochistic mother actually enjoyed the scent itself or whether she simply enjoyed the torture of it.

This scent, however--this was quite easily the most powerful scent of Alpha he had ever come across. When the abrupt shock to his system passed, however, he had to admit the scent wasn't _terrible_. It was simply as if someone had over-eagerly applied a concentrated cologne; once the scent dissipated, it became tolerable. Perhaps, more than tolerable.

A large, muscled stranger lay in the clearing, drained almost completely of life energy and gasping shallowly. Though Killua had not witnessed Gon's incredible physical transformation, he identified his friend immediately.

The white-haired assassin dashed past the discarded, pulpy remains of Chimera Ant and knelt next to his injured friend. Killua hesitated to touch Gon as he visually examined him, fearing that any residual electricity he carried could disrupt the weak rhythm of Gon's heart. His beautiful little Gon had disappeared, replaced by this big, hulking, unconscious Alpha male. Killua's heart clenched as he spotted Gon's severed arm several feet away. Alluka would help heal it, restore his friend to his original form. 

But there was one thing even Alluka could not fix. Dimly, Killua realized his eyes were welling up. To see his friend in such a state, physically enervated to the brink of death-- but it was more than that, though Killua knew he was selfish to wish Gon had presented differently. His heart literally ached at the unfairness of it, tender dreams of his lovely little Omega shattered.

As Killua rose to collect the limb, a deep rumble of discomfort emitted from Gon's chest. Killua responded with a plaintive whine before he could stop himself. Get it together, Killua, he chided himself. Illumi would most certainly have disapproved. His older brother had labored for years teaching Killua to minimize any and all noises under duress, whether cries of pain or the instinctual rumblings, purrs, and other noises that could jeopardize the status of a mission (which often required one to be noiseless, even under extreme torture). And yet, for all his years of ingrained training, Killua had positively whined at the first noise of this Alpha. _What does that mean?_ , his clever mind wondered, racing to fill in the gaps. _Is this a sign of reaching maturity as well?_

His attention was diverted by movement from Gon, whose nostrils were flaring wildly. Killua felt a sudden pooling, pleasant warmth low in his belly, and he bared his teeth at Gon. Though he had slipped into unconsciousness, this Alpha beast was scenting Killua as if he was prey. Gon's own pheromones, far from abating, had strengthened in intensity; Killua could clearly smell the heady musk, the dark, fertile earth and oak. It was a smell that was quickly growing on him; Killua found himself breathing deeply to better fill his lungs with that distinctive scent. Killua wondered if perhaps Gon's natural proclivity as an Enhancer strengthened his musk. Probably.

Suddenly, Gon's eyes flew open, and Killua nearly flinched at the intensity of the unseeing stare. It was like locking eyes with Nanuka. Gon's eyes were no longer a warm, responsive brown, but had become a depthless black. As he met eyes with Gon's inner beast, the warmth in his stomach became a slicing, excruciating pain, and Killua dropped to his knees, clenching his gut. Darkness outlined his vision and he closed his eyes as a current of pain flared through him, scaldingly, blindingly hot. 

_What--?!_ The uncomfortable, tacky substance smearing down his thighs answered his question before it was even fully asked in his mind. 

The overwhelming pheromones of this Alpha Enhancer had somehow triggered a response from Killua's own dormant system, forcing him over the cusp of sexual maturity just as certainly as Wing-san had opened his pores to accept Nen. 

Killua Zoldyck, heir to the Zoldyck estate, bred from a centuries-old line of thoroughbred Alphas, expected to be the most powerful assassin of all time, had somehow presented _Omega_.

Though he was usually able to maintain a clear head under extreme duress, this particular pain rendered him thoughtless. Killua dropped to all fours, gasping and heaving as pain wrenched through his system. Each of his internal organs felt as if they were being pressed through one of Milluki's devious torture devices. He should be able to think--needed to think-- of a way to get Gon and himself to safety. Nothing came. His thoughts were clogged by pain, drowning in disbelief, irrational. 

Black spots fringed at his vision, gamboling and spinning in and out of focus. Unconsciousness beckoned with a crooked finger. The trees were falling--no, he was falling, his arms useless like a fallen house of cards, his jaw striking the ground sharply enough to short-circuit his brain. A single, clear thought floated into view even as he lost awareness: 

_Mother is going to lose her shit._


	3. Sex Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua faces his parents.

 

 _"Sir, your god, your great Bel, your fish-tailed Dragon, rises before me as a demon [...] Behold how hideously he governs! See him busied at the work he likes best -- making marriages. [...] In his realm there is hatred -- secret hatred: there is disgust -- unspoken disgust: there is treachery -- family treachery: there is vice -- deep, deadly, domestic vice. In his dominions, children grow unloving between parents who have never loved: infants are nursed on deception from their very birth: they are reared in an atmosphere corrupt with lies ... All that surrounds him hastens to decay: all declines and degenerates under his sceptre. Your god is a masked Death.”_   
_― Charlotte Brontë, Shirley_

__

* * *

__

No Omegas were allowed to step foot on Kukuroo Mountain; not even clients looking to contract the services of the famed assassins. Though second-gender-discriminatory hiring practices were now illegal in the developed world, all Omegan hopefuls who applied for tour guide positions in the Dentora region were gently turned down or given secretarial positions: no touring agency wanted to be responsible for a lawsuit should one of their tour guides disappear en route to Kukuroo Mountain.

Mike had been trained since puphood to scent the tell-tale pheromones of Omega, and any Omega intruders (not that there had been many) met swift and horrible ends--though the same could be said for any who dared enter the Zoldyck residence unannounced. Each of the butlers under the employ of the Zoldyck family was a Beta, specifically screened and drug-tested for gender-suppressants. Goteau, head of the butlers, was an Alpha, but he had specifically been chosen and vetted by Silva himself. Goteau had sworn his loyalty to the Zoldyck family, and had proven himself as obedient as any Omega.

Intent on dispatching this latest threat, Mike approached Killua with a flash of teeth and a warning rumble, then abruptly rolled over with a low whine to expose his stomach in submission after a sharp crackle of electricity made him realize his mistake. Mike could not interpret the new conflicting smells of _master-obey_ intertwined inextricably with _omega-destroy_ , and his canine brain was short-circuiting.

Killua had always been fond of Mike, but he sped past the perplexed, supplicating watchdog with not a side-glance, face dark with stormclouds. He was troubled, for more reasons than one. Gon was now safely in the care of friends, but his troubles were far from over. Killua needed access to Alluka to heal Gon, but he had to face his parents first. Undoubtedly, they would be able to tell he had presented-- to obtain hormone suppressants in the first place he would have had to make a doctor's appointment, and Killua wasn't quite sure he was ready to face a medical examiner. He hadn't yet come to terms with his own biological changes, much less wanted to endure the pokings and proddings of another.

Speaking of poking and prodding... Killua had not yet experienced the overwhelming carnal desire that supposedly accompanied the onset of his first Heat (though none had been willing to divulge the secrets of Omegan biology, Killua had learned more than enough from the anatomy textbook hidden in the back of the library). That begged other questions. Was this even his first Heat? And if so, did that mean he wasn't fertile? He wasn't sure if he could handle being BOTH Omegan male AND infertile. But wait, did that mean he wanted to be fertile? The image he had so lovingly conjured of Gon's hands on a swollen belly... Was it meant to be his swollen belly? _Would Gon even want---_

Killua shook his head furiously to stop himself from venturing further into that Chimera Ant-hole. _NO. Definitely not thinking of that, Kil. Can't get ahead of myself. One thing at a time. Alluka first._

__

_Well, no. Telling parents first. Alluka second. No time to waste, Gon needs you._

__

Killua lingered a few moments longer, until the sun had solidly risen above the mountains and the blushing pink of the pre-day sky had nearly completely faded. Steeling himself, Killua took a breath and climbed down from the roof.

Hopefully he would be able to see Silva alone. Somehow, he figured his father would take the news better.

* * *

 

The two lovebirds snuggled under the eaves of the window fled in abject terror as a shriek pierced the comfortable silence of the morning air.

“Silva, how is it _possible_?” Killua’s mother wailed, tearing at her hair.

Sitting in a stony silence that matched the decor perfectly, Silva did not appear to react to his wife's histrionics. Despite his large and overwhelming presence, Killua's father sat so still that he practically blended into the shadows. Though normally wearing a proud, stern expression, Silva's face seemed to have been wiped clean, and for a moment Killua could almost see the familial resemblance to Illumi.

Kikyo's tone turned to irrational, illogical fury. “We gave him too much freedom! _You_ gave him too much freedom, Silva--letting him run around with those _friends_ of his!” She said the word 'friends' like it was a disease.

Killua sighed. “Presenting as Omega isn’t a choice, mom.”

Killua’s mother stopped to process this information, then began to wail again. “Silva… how… my poor baby...” she wept brokenly.

“That is more than _enough_ ,” Silva admonished his wife.

Shocked into submission by her husband’s acerbic command, Kikyo fell silent, though her lip trembled greatly.

"Please explain what happened, Killua," Silva asked calmly. Killua's mother buried her head in her hands.

Killua recounted how he had found Gon in the forest clearing, the pain that followed, the biological response (the _slick_ running down his thighs, though Killua would have run Illumi's needles through his eyes before uttering that word to his parents), blacking out.

Kikyo interjected suddenly, the red light of her sensor blinking erratically. "Killua, baby, has any-anyone touched you?" Her voice was even more unstable than usual, crazed with bloodlust. "Was it that little brat that came here? I'll tear him to pieces if he even laid a finger on my baby."

"Leave us, Kikyo-chan," Silva's voice was low, though the threat in his tone was unmistakably clear.

"But Silva, I--" Kikyo started to protest, then stopped abruptly as Silva's hands gripped the cold stone arm of his chair hard enough to crack it audibly. She flounced from the room in a whirlwind of tears and skirts. As she left, she closed the door quietly, but the echoing wailing from the hallways let all in earshot know her displeasure. Both father and son relaxed visibly as the sound of her laments faded gradually.

"Are you going to ask me, too?" Killua broke the silence.

"Ask you what, Killua?" Silva responded. Killua was curious at Silva's hesitation. Surely his father would want to know whether his son, the supposed-thoroughbred Alpha heir to the Zoldyck family, had been touched-- _knotted_ \--by an Alpha.

"About...uh. What mother was asking." Killua suddenly found himself squirming. He'd expected the eventual sex talk, but under these circumstances?

"No, I'm not worried about that, Killua. I know you haven't," came the brutally direct response.

Killua suddenly felt a burning curiosity, despite his embarrassment. _You can tell?_ "Father, may I ask--" he started, but fell silent.

"Go ahead, Killua, ask me whatever you wish."

"How did you know I hadn't... you know." His face flushed.

Uncharacteristically, Silva actually seemed more affected than his son. A slight pink colored his cheekbones. "Well, you see, Killua, as a youth I...before I married your mother, I..." For once, Killua's father seemed to be at a loss for words. "I ran off when your grandfather told me they had found a suitable match for me. I needed some time to myself before coming home and resuming my duties as heir."

Killua barely managed to keep his jaw from dropping open. "You rebelled?"

Silva grinned sheepishly, another first. "Well, your grandfather certainly had his hands full."

"But how does that answer my question?" Killua pushed.

"Well, since I knew I was going to be married within the year, and I had always been curious about Omegas, I decided to find out more for myself."

"You dated an Omega?" Killua was awe-struck, both at his father's admission and at the incredible wrath Silva must have incurred in Zeno. Zeno was the most stringent enforcer of the Zoldyck rule against Omegan relations. At the dinner table, Killua had once dared to ask his grandfather why he hated Omegas so much: _"I don't harbor anything against Omegas, child. Or Betas. Neither is biologically suited to the life of an assassin," his grandfather opined. "And the Zoldycks are the most powerful assassins in the world. We cannot risk diluting our bloodline. The future of the family is at stake." Killua had wanted to challenge his grandfather's assumption that Betas and Omegas were not capable, but Milluki had shushed him with a violent jab of a fork to his leg._

__

And here, his very father was sitting in front of him admitting he had dated an Omega!

Silva, interpreting Killua's silence as an expectation for him to continue, did so, though clearly carefully choosing his words. "Well, naturally, it's a biological impulse for any Alpha and Omega to pair, but as Zoldycks we are duty bound..." he trailed off, seeing the interest wane in his son's eyes. He thought for a moment, then sighed. "Son, when an Alpha and Omega pair, it's a bit different from an Alpha male and female pairing."

"How?"

"As Alphas are Dominants, there are certain... ' _biological instincts_ '... that an Alpha has to claim an Omega. It's..ehh.. biologically _comforting_ , I suppose you could say. So the pairing can... it can get a little rough on the Omega."

"Oh."

"Usually there are bite marks and bruising on the Omega's neck afterward. Also, the Alpha leaves a scent-mark on the Omega. That's how you can tell."

"I see," responded Killua quietly.

Both father and son fell quiet for a moment, each lost in his own thoughts.

"What happened to her, father? The Omega you dated."

" _Him_ , Killua. My Omega was a _him_ ," corrected Silva immediately. By now the tips of his ears were bright red. Perceptive as ever, Killua didn't miss the possessive pronoun, and his eyes widened fractionally at the admission.

"Oh...Did Grandfather ever find out about him?"

Silva, now thoroughly flustered, stood abruptly. "I'm sorry Killua, but you'll have to excuse me for a moment. I have to call in a favor. There are a few inconsistencies in your story regarding your presentation, but I'd like to check with a specialist to be certain."

"But, Father," Killua let out a low whine of distress before he could help himself. "There's no _time_. Gon needs--" Killua suddenly found his face squashed against his father's shirt. One of Silva's bear paws was tousling his hair, the other rubbing his back softly. His cheek tingled at the calming rumble emitting from his father's chest. His father had never touched him like _that_ , not ever. _Is this because I'm an Omega now?_ Killua flinched violently, pulling away from the confusingly soothing touch, tears welling suddenly in his eyes.

Silva, who had not hugged his son consciously, was thoroughly embarrassed. "Killua, I--"

"No, I get it, dad." Killua responded, hurt. " _Biological instincts_ ," he spat the words out.

Silva stood regretfully. "I know this is a confusing time, Killua, but my contact should be able to give us some answers."

Killua, who had turned his face to the wall, did not respond.

"I'm going to lock the door behind me, Killua. I trust that you understand?"

Killua understood.

"Good. Gotoh will bring lunch along shortly." As Silva crossed the threshold of the door, he paused as a thought struck him. "Don't mention what I said to your mother, Killua."

"Won't." Killua said no more.

"Good." Silva paused, as if to say more, then decided against it, firmly gripping the handle of the door. "Yes. Good." He left.

Alone, Killua allowed his mind to wander. So his father had experience with Omegas, then. At least one, anyways... _Incredible._ Killua suddenly wondered if his siblings had explored their Alpha "mating instincts", as well.

At the very least, Killua was sure his murderous older brothers would take an unnatural interest in his second gender. Illumi, in particular, had been conducting ethically questionable experiments on living things since reaching sexual maturity at 13, and if he sometimes chose human subjects, well, nobody asked questions. Illumi's desire to control his younger brother already was beyond obsessive, and after this development Illumi would no doubt suggest that Killua be remanded to his care to perform more experiments on his brain control. Killua could just imagine his brother's rationalizations: _With the right acupressure applied to the appropriate part of the brain, we could perhaps stimulate the pituitary gland to function as expected._

Milluki's main interest since presenting, meanwhile, was to lock himself up in his room and watch sadistic, Omegan-cosplay porn. Killua had discovered this grisly fact when tailing Milluki: he had intended to enact revenge for his brother's latest misdeed while experimenting with Nanika's abilities. He waited outside of Milluki's room for hours until his brother left to use the bathroom, then slipped inside noiselessly before his brother could turn to lock the door behind him. The computer screen was already on, unlocked, and begging to be searched. Though he was already a seasoned killer, just a few moments clicking through open tabs on his brother's Search History was enough for the then-younger Killua to feel nauseous.

He was certain his parents would disapprove of the material: if not for the inhumane subject matter, then for the fetishization of Omegan females (as discussed earlier, the Zoldyck children were expressly forbidden to engage in sexual relations with any Omegas). He had blackmailed Milluki then, demanding his brother cease to interact with Nanika--or Alluka, for that matter. Milluki, blanching at the threat of Silva or--god forbid--Zeno discovering his virtual transgressions, acquiesced to Killua's demand--but had responded in turn with his own threat: _"Heir or not, if you breathe a word to Mother or Father I'll tie you up and flay the skin from your body inch by inch while you squeal like a stuck Omegan pig. I've got plenty of source material to draw upon for inspiration."_

No, Killua had no doubt both of his older brothers would enjoy some time alone with their newly Omegan brother. He closed his eyes, sighing, and leaned against the plush pillow covering Silva's stone chair. Though he was physically and emotionally exhausted, his thoughts would not slow.

_And what about Father's specialist?,_ his mind queried. _Could this person have answers as to why this has happened to me?_

Unless a paternal or maternal relative was recessive-Omegan (the chances of which being highly slim to none due to the Zoldycks' exhaustive screening methods), Killua was pretty certain that it was nearly impossible for him to have inherited Omegan genes.

Killua suspected Gon's unnatural state had something to do with it. _Is this an after-effect of his Nen? Could the use of Nen influence gender presentation?_ It was a question for the science books, anyways.

If his suspicions were correct and Gon's Enhanced Alpha Nen had somehow altered his hormones... _Could Gon achieve that again? Turn others into Omegas?_

But it _couldn't_ be possible... biologically speaking, that is. Killua had felt something shifting, changing inside of him. _Preparing for a knot_ , his mind whispered, and gooseflesh rose on his arms, though he wasn't quite sure why.

_If this was merely the effect of Nen, then was this Omegan state somehow possible to reverse?_

If he had the choice, did he even _want_ to reverse it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reached a couple of plot roadblocks for a few days which stalled this posting, but I think (hope) I'm on the right track, here! 
> 
> Also, for some reason I just _looooove_ the idea of Silva still holding a torch for an old Omegan boyfriend. Just, kills me. 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated! <3


	4. Waiting; Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Killua waits (impatiently) for his father to return, he makes some discoveries about his new gender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illumi was supposed to make his appearance in this chapter, but then I got carried away fleshing out other details of Killua's day and the emotional/physical ramifications as his body continues to change and he learns more about his second gender.
> 
> I've read a number of stories that suggest Omegan sexual awakening is as instant as the beginning of their first heat... There are a few different reasons why I'm holding off (as is Killua).. Firstly, Killua's body was not necessarily prepared to make these changes, so his will be a slower process of awakening.
> 
> Also, Killua has led a very sheltered life, and has been raised to be an Alpha... he knows next to nothing about Omegan physiology. At the same time, he is confronted with his ideas of what he finds "sexy": from "giving" the knot, to "receiving" it. I can imagine that would give anyone feelings of anxiety or insecurity.
> 
> Long story short, I ended up splitting this chapter into two. (Please) Don't be mad at me at the ending!... I'll do my best to finish the next chapter as quickly as possible. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! ^_^

 

So far, Silva had not returned to his quarters. After his father left, Killua had paced awhile, growing progressively angrier and more anxious as the minutes passed. He'd felt constantly on edge, sensitive, delicate. As if he could cry at any moment. Silva's hug had started the emotional roller-coaster: the paradox of comforting touch somehow psychologically inducing more pain. Killua restrained himself, though, until he'd stubbed the weird in-between part of his toes accidentally on the leg of Silva's oversized settee while pacing about. The very unfairness of such an odd physical pain started the waterworks, and Killua threw himself into the settee to cry helplessly into a pillow.

After a few minutes, the storm of torrential tears finally abated. Then he'd espied a jaunty red squirrel chitter-chattering outside the window. Drawn to the noise, the red-eyed Killua went and sat sniffling by the window. The squirrel fixed him with a beaded, oddly-sapient eye and, discerning there was no apparent threat, continued nattering innocently to its acorn. Killua smiled absentmindedly at the squirrel until his mind absurdly connected it to a memory of Gon, overflowing with enthusiasm, happily chitter-chattering away about nothing at all while Killua attempted to keep up with the conversation.

The carefree squirrel nearly dropped its loot in horror as the formerly-quiet, white-haired human started bawling loudly. Indignant, the critter retreated and began rebuking Killua from a safer distance on the branch. That set Killua into fits, laughing even as he cried.

Coming back to himself after his brief fit of insanity, Killua was horrified:  _Is this what it means to have Omegan hormones?_ He'd never cried like that in his life. Considering his upbringing, Killua felt he was able to experience emotions as well as the next human being, but this unstoppable deluge of feels was too much. He decided to take a nap.

* * *

Gotoh arrived by mid-morning to request Killua's lunch and dinner preferences. The seasoned butler had also had the foresight to bring a handheld video game player, games, and a stash of candy from Killua's quarters.

Killua watched Gotoh intently for any indication that he knew about Killua's gender presentation. The Alpha butler's nose wrinkled almost imperceptibly as he entered the room (or did it? Killua wasn't sure if he was merely being paranoid), and when Gotoh turned to address him, Killua tensed in expectation. He'd bring toiletries and a change of bedsheets after dinner, he informed Killua, and if the young master wanted anything else he had but to push the call bell on the wall and Gotoh would come immediately.

As the lock clicked behind the butler, Killua exhaled a sigh of relief. Killua had always somewhat resented the presence of the Zoldyck servants, mostly because they weren't allowed to be friends with him (and he'd so desperately longed for friendship). He'd always harbored a distinct iciness towards Gotoh, in particular, as Gotoh enforced the Zoldyck rules to the highest standard. Killua's overtures towards friendship had gotten many a servant in trouble, Canary in particular. As a result of his distant treatment over the years, Killua had expected Gotoh to treat him differently, perhaps even condescend to him as a result of the shift in power dynamic, but the interaction had been decidedly normal and professional in every way. Killua resolved to be nicer henceforth.

* * *

The hours passed. Without a diversion, Killua fluctuated between desperately bored and desperately anxious. He wanted to call the hospital to check on Gon, but there was no landline (as all calls were fielded through the butler's residence) and his cellular reception was limited to none (though a cell tower was present on the mountain, Killua suspected Milluki had tampered with his signal at their mother's behest). Besides Gotoh bringing his meals, no other visitors had come, for which Killua was grateful. Normally he would have liked to talk with someone, even Canary, but he felt decidedly shy and vulnerable at the moment.

He'd tried playing the video games thoughtfully provided by Gotoh, but they unfortunately held no appeal, either: no video game could ever be as exciting as  _Greed Island_ ; besides, how could he play video games when Gon was suffering in a hospital bed?

A soft, polite series of taps at the door alerted the young Hunter.  _Canary._  Though Canary always verbally rebuffed Killua's requests for friendship, the duo had, over the years, developed their own clandestine code of communication. If Canary noticed Killua's absence at mealtimes, or suspected he was locked in isolation for whatever reason, she would check on him. Because Killua was often either gagged or physically unable to speak due to the long periods of torture he endured as part of his assassin's training, Canary tapped a sequence at the door with her ring. If he was awake and conscious, Killua would respond with his own series of taps against the floor or wall. At this moment, he could have responded verbally, but neither knew if the room was under surveillance.

 **Tap-tap, Knock, tap-tap.**   _You there?_

Killua grinned and responded with soft answering knocks.  _I'm here. I'm fine_.

A longer pause, then a note was hastily pushed under the door.

 **Tap (pause), Tap (pause), Tap...** _I'm waiting for an answer_. Canary would continue to tap at the same interval until Killua returned her note. If her pattern changed or broke off suddenly, Killua would know that she had been caught or someone was approaching.

Killua unfolded the letter and scanned as quickly as he could:

_Master Killua, I KNEW you were here! All tense, Mistress crying, and G. brings lunch up here. All is OK?_

So the servants didn't know the bombshell about his gender presentation yet. Killua was sure they would find out sooner or later. He grabbed an ornate silver pen from Silva's desk and scribbled a response:

_I'm OK. Gon hurt. Need Alluka. Other things 2 long 2 explain. Talk later. TY._

As he pushed the note back under the door, Killua had a passing, crazy thought:  _I wonder if she can smell me through the door, or on the note._  He shook his head at his paranoia.

 **Tap-tap, Knock, Tap-tap.** _Talk to you later._ And with that, Canary was gone.

With nothing left to entertain him, Killua wandered around the spacious rooms of his father's quarters. Though Silva spent much of the year taking suppressants, and his clothes were fastidiously laundered before a mission (the last thing any Zoldyck wanted was for his scent to announce his presence), the powerful  _Alpha_  musk was branded into every item.

Killua had to admit, his father's scent had a calming effect on his nerves; undoubtedly a side effect of his second gender. He wished suddenly that he'd done more research on Omegan presentation and heats before he left for Kukuroo Mountain; but he'd been too overwhelmed by concern for Gon's welfare and confusion about his own physical state that he'd not thought clearly.

Inspired to learn more, he pushed the call button next to the door. Gotoh arrived within two minutes. "Yes, master Killua?"

Killua requested access to a laptop, but was shocked at Gotoh's refusal. "I'm sorry, master Killua, but I cannot help you there. Your father has initiated a Level 2."

Killua groaned. A  _"level 2"_  referred to a Level 2 Lockdown. Lockdowns were common in the Zoldyck household, especially where Killua was concerned. Level 2, in particular, meant that communication with the outside world was cut off: including cell phones and Internet.  _Then how was he getting in touch with his specialist?_ "Is this for everyone or just for me?"

"The level 2 is currently confined to this suite," came the butler's careful response.

 _No doubt trying to keep me from contacting the outside world_ , Killua thought _. At least nobody can get in, either._ "Yeah, I figured as much. You know, for the supposed heir of the Zoldyck family business I sure have a lot of restrictions placed on me," he griped.

Gotoh's countenance stayed neutral, but his tone softened. "My apologies, young Master. Your father cares very much for your safety."

Killua sighed, putting his hands in his pockets. "I understand. Do you know when he will be back?"

"He assured me he would be back by tomorrow morning, afternoon at the very latest. Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"No thank you, Gotoh. That was it."

"My pleasure, Master Killua."

Killua sighed again, took out his yo-yos, and began practicing agility drills.

* * *

After a long, agonizing day of waiting, interspersed with intermittent fits of tears, Killua actually welcomed sleep. Gotoh removed Killua's dinner tray and returned with a towel, two envelopes, and two large, wrapped baskets: "These arrived for the young Master."

Killua accepted the towel eagerly; he hadn't showered since before the Hunter Association levied their assault on the palace in East Gorteau, and he was certain he reeked of dried sweat and stale hormones. But what was with the two wrapped baskets?

Killua carried his bounty into the spacious bathroom and closed the door behind him. He turned on the water and spent a moment puzzling over the note taped to the lid of one of the baskets Gotoh had brought. Killua recognized the bold, lilted penmanship of his father.

 _Killua,_ the page read.  _Forgive me for stepping out so abruptly this morning. I expect to return by tomorrow midmorning._

 _I would have explained over the phone but someone could be listening. I spoke briefly with the specialist on the phone. Without seeing you first she cannot make an accurate diagnosis, but she says it is clear you have not fully entered your first Heat. This process requires a lot of energy from your body, Killua, so she has_ _requested that you do not use Nen_   _for now as a safety precaution. I will echo her wish:_ _Please conserve your energy_ _._

_In the meantime, try to relax. I have heard this process can be overwhelming, and we don't yet know what your symptoms will be if you are presenting under the influence of Nen._

_I ordered a package for you. It should be coming in this evening._

_You are my son, and I will always be proud of you._

_S_

Absurdly touched by his father's gesture, Killua had to blink away his suddenly moist eyes.  _Not again._ He carefully folded the note and put it to the side, on the sink counter. Then he opened the second envelope affixed to the top of one of the baskets.

This note was perfumed and hand-written in an extravagant, loopy script.

_Congratulations on your presentation, Killua!_

_Darling Killua,_

_Your father called this morning and told us your great news! He asked us to put together something like a "Starter Kit" -so adorable!- with some helpful tips. So WE put together not one, but TWO gift baskets filled with our best-selling items, and included a little hand-written note explaining what each one is for! You'll find our best-selling book, some bath and shower items, candles, creams-DO try the whipped body butter in sandalwood, our personal favorite!-, and some other necessities you'll need each month when your Heat comes around. Please enjoy, and we hope to see you in our store soon! Ta!_

_XXoo,_

_Mercer & Saban_

_P.S. There's an extra-special gift for you at the bottom of one of the baskets! Enjoy, darling!_

Killua rolled his eyes at the hearts and exclamation points covering the page. The salespeople-Mercer and Saban-clearly were thrilled that a big spender had given them a blank cheque to create the most ostentatious gift basket(s) they could fill. But the smells coming from the prettily-packaged assortment certainly were intriguing... and the book could be useful reading.

Not knowing what to expect, Killua warily unwrapped the first basket, which had the word " _Toiletries_ " etched into the lid.

"Whoa..." About 20 attractively-packaged bottles, tubes, and jars gleamed at him from their carefully-crafted nests of delicate floral wrapping paper.  _What the-? What is all this?_ Killua usually just used a bar of soap to clean himself and that was it.  _Do Omegas get_ that  _dirty?_

He picked up the book-What to Expect When You're Presenting-and opened to a random page, then shut it immediately, face coloring.  _Question answered._ He set the book to the side on the marble counter beside the bath, and began opening the different packages to smell and try the different creams and soaps.

The notes attached to each item instructed him on their usage. The special exfoliator, for example, was to be used in the shower. Apparently his skin was to become  _"more sensitive"_  at certain times of the month, and the exfoliator would slough off dead skin layers so that he would be more receptive to the touch of soft things.  _That's assuming, of course, that I even come into contact with soft things_... Killua rolled his eyes.  _Omegas don't need "soft things". I've never heard of something so pretentious. This has got to be some b.s. marketing gimmick._

But even as he shook his head, Killua found himself opening the jar and smelling it, then putting it on the bath counter.  _Well, I'll try it once, anyways._

Fifteen minutes later, he had gone through all the items in both the " _Toiletries_ " and " _Necessities_ " baskets... except for one. Killua stared with trepidation at the long, opaque black box at the bottom of the basket. Unlike the others with large, glossy labels and bright colors, this one had no label, no description, except a note reading: " _When you're ready_."

Killua may have been ignorant about Omegan physiology, but he had a suspicion this last item was a certain something he'd overheard Leorio whispering to a red-faced Kurapika as the group waited out the rest of their 50 hours in the bowels of Trick Tower.

* * *

_It was no secret amongst the group of friends that Leorio was a fan of large-breasted Omegan women, a fact derided by Kurapika when the Alpha had been distracted by Leroute's softer assets. Leorio refused to be apologetic for his predilections, which had led to a rather funny whispered conversation between the two after the group had gone to bed. Judging by Gon's snores, he was completely dead to the world, but Killua had stayed awake to listen._

_"...Well, she had a box full of them. Some were bigger than others, some glass, some silicone. She even had ones that vibrated!"_

_Killua heard Tonpa's breath catch at that statement; clearly the sneaky Beta had been only pretending to sleep as well._

_Until that point, Kurapika had demonstrated not a whit of interest in either large-breasted Omegan women or Leorio's raunchy tales. By this point in the conversation, the blonde seemed rather to enjoy making inflammatory statements designed to raise Leorio's ire. "She sounds like a piece of work. Where did you find this Omega, again?"_

_"Hey, don't you talk about her like that," Leorio hissed. "Don't you know anything about Omegas? It's standard for all Omegas to have at least one. It helps them through their Heat if they don't have a partner."_

_"You're saying that Omegas have a biological need for sex toys that vibrate?"_

_"Well, no, not the vibrator part but..." Leorio was clearly stumped there, then a beatific smile covered his face as he thought back. "...but you should have seen how her tits jiggled and bounced when I-"_

_Killua cleared his throat and pretended to shift in his sleep, and Leorio lowered his voice to a whisper again. His tone turned conspiratorial. "Anyways. I even went to a special shop that takes a mold of your-you know what-and gave it to her as a gift."_

_"Disgusting," muttered the blonde Beta, whose face had gone a bright red at the mention of Leorio's making a dildo molded after himself._

_"SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A TOUCHING AND THOUGHTFUL GIFT!" Leorio yell-whispered, only to get a pillow thrown in his face by Killua._

_"Keep it down, old man. Some people are trying to sleep."_

* * *

Killua was mortified as he considered the box. To think that _Silva_ had ordered these gift baskets for him! He quickly scanned the shopkeeper's scented note again, and contented himself with the thought that perhaps his father had just asked for their recommendations without actually knowing what he was buying. He thought of Leorio's descriptions of the vibrators, then shook his head. _Certainly not._

Well, there was only way to find out what was actually in the box... _Oh, don't be such a sissy, Killua, just open the damned box._

He ripped open the box violently and stared at its contents. _Well, it's nice... packaging._

He took a finger and hesitantly ran it down the length of the dark-blue silicone dildo. _Soft._

He pulled it out of its box and gripped it firmly in his hands. One hand alone could not encircle its girth. _Thick._

One end tapered down to a rounded tip, while the other end was far larger and more bulbous, simulating a knot. According to the folded pamphlet of instructions, a beginner could use the smaller end, and as the user adjusted, could turn it around to use the "knot" end as well. _That's supposed to go... inside of me_. Killua felt that strange, not-unpleasant feeling pooling in his lower stomach again.

Killua ran a hand through his shock of white hair, sighing. It was a lot of new information to digest. _I'll just start with a shower._ He grabbed the jar of exfoliant and the container of body wash.

* * *

Forty minutes later-the longest shower the young Hunter had ever taken in his life- Killua emerged from the bathroom feeling ridiculously giddy, like an entirely different human being. _I am so soft, everywhere._

After using the exfoliant with his new wash-glove, which had literally scrubbed off multiple layers of dead skin (simultaneously disgusting and wonderful), Killua had been tempted to try other creams (" _Save this one for the scent glands of your wrist!_ "). He ended up trying a bit of everything, which had taken much longer than anticipated. After a bit of hesitation, he'd even used the razor and shaving cream to shave his legs, and he couldn't stop touching his legs. He caught sight of himself in the mirror: grinning like an idiot, rubbing his smooth, soft legs with guilty pleasure.

And he was in for another treat. Killua gasped as he settled in between the lush, soft covers Gotoh had changed. No doubt these sheets were created with some synthetic fabric designed with Omegan comfort in mind, because these felt like _Heaven_. Killua barely noticed the contented Omegan _purr_ rumbling naturally from his throat as he luxuriated in the sheets. He reached over to shut off the lamp, then extended his arms and legs like a contented starfish. Delighted by the textures against his skin, Killua hummed and sighed with sensory enjoyment as he snow-angeled the blankets. He was asleep within minutes.

Normally Killua would have been more alert, more careful. He'd already learned to stay alert while sleeping, even before coming under Biske's tutelage. But he'd had a trying week, was drained by his emotional outbursts, felt secure in his father's stringent Level 2 Lockdown. That, added to the incredible pampering session he'd just experienced (perhaps even better than Biske's masseuse!), gave Killua a rare sense of security to give himself to sleep-perhaps one of the only nights of true restfulness he would ever have in his life.

So it was that the slumbering Killua didn't stir once as the dark-haired figure entered and crept to the foot of his bed.

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting on Ao3!!! First time with slash or omegaverse. Playing around with the ideas and want to see what happens. I don't own anything in the HunterXHunter universe.
> 
> Like?? Feedback me, my muse is hungry.


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